Thursday, November 28, 2013

The Luckiest Kidney Stone

    Well, Ben's poor little Festiva finally bit the dust. So Ben spent like a week and a half manically looking up stuff online, and as of last night, we own a red 2-door 2003 Ford Focus hatchback! It's a pretty spiffy car. You should help us name it! I was going to name it after a Pokemon character, because as Ben said last night “I haven't been this excited to buy something since Pokemon Red came out!” But all of the cars in my family have been named after old people, like Walter and Edgar. Trials. We went up to Richmond last night to get it, and since it was an automatic, I got to drive it back to the house! It's been almost 9 months since I've driven anything, and it was weird. But the car drive really smoothly, handled easily, and didn't have that annoying kchuk-kchuk-k-LUNK associated with manual transmissions. So that was exciting.
    We were planning to take off early this morning to drive to Corvallis, OR, to spend Thanksgiving with Ben's aunt and uncle, so we were pretty excited to have our serviceable new car to take us! But then Ben called me at like 2:30 in the morning like “Eurghhhhh........ pain.......... bring the car and take me to the ER.” So it's a good thing that we found the car last night and brought it back to my house, because the poor guy was in no fit state to drive. I took him to the Alta Bates Summit ER near his house, and after a brief triage in a thankfully empty waiting room, another brief wait in the ER itself, 4mg of morphine and a CT scan, the doctor decided that he was passing a kidney stone the size of a beach ball. I've heard that kidney stones are incredibly painful, and now Ben can tell you that they are. Poor guy.
    So he's in a room now, getting pumped full of fluids. We're hoping they can get a stent put in this afternoon to help kind of get things moving along. I drove back home around 7:30 to eat some breakfast, take a shower, and put on some “real” clothes instead of the sweats and flannels I sleep in. Hopefully the urologist and the surgery team are  able to take time out of his Thanksgiving day to help us out. Poor guy!

    But really, this has been about the luckiest time to get a kidney stone. We had a car available, we have 2 days off from work plus a weekend, it's a holiday, so the meters aren't running, it happened before we left instead of during the 8-hour drive (not sure what we had done if Ben had suddenly doubled over in pain while driving on the Interstate), and he was able to be seen quickly. The downside is that we were planning a 4-day trip to Corvallis to see Portland and the Oregon coast, and it looks like we won't be able to manage that now, which is really a shame. And that we spent Thanksgiving in the hospital, instead of in the presence of family, friends and/or food. We spent it with each other though, so I guess it could be worse.  
Happy Thanksgiving from Room 4223!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

What WOULD I say?

You guys, seriously, this is my new favorite thing.  It's HILARIOUS.  But I didn't want to inundate your Facebook walls with nonsensical crap, so here's a list of my favorite algorithm-generated statuses:

Seriously, guys, I'm sure you have to restock the local population!!!


I was a chillinducing version of Ave Maria this awful, windblown, wasteland similar to kansas, there are two hours of the penis, wouldn’t that be my friends in 2A, Adventure with photography business, it would like an opera


This is the battle cry of the nicest people

"Can you guys please, just please, get along?  Please?"

WHAT is a Holdeman Mennonite?!




No, no, really, think that the first day of going to take your clothes off.




He was the one of the one paying attention to a good batch of crabs.




got up early, went to watch Kevin Leary!




an informal survey conducted this elf was hitting on Carl's dwarf Can Daniel Lassman eat spelt?




Someone just donated 3 big boxes of your favorite people.




It's an evolutionary mechanism designed to ensure the continuation of species! A camouflafghanistan! Yeah, that'll catch on...




I think I'm an irreconcilable perv, it doesn't NEED a personal journal.




Halfway through my boyfriend! Not very tricky, origami, napkins, socks, and dress pants.





May have a doctorate in Divinity of beavers!

Not even PATTY SHELLY has a doctorate in the divinity of beavers!

Who needs a Creeker to the nursing home again.

I think the 7C girls (Abbey Kirk, Taylor M-J, Sarah Unruh, Sarah Pohl, Sara Volweider, Melissa Volk, Eric Buller) would probably do this when they all get into Kidron Bethel.


There's a reason *I* go to Planned Parenthood so...

I mean, why do *YOU* go?


Oh gosh, I am not that clever.




our basement reeks of marijuana.




Shine so holy and bright Oh Fortuna in a sheep costume




has a hot date with Brian Skinner!



Ok, party with Jenae Janzen, Martin we will

And Yoda too, apparently...


I think I'll have the insatiable urge to a preposition.




BETHEL BETHEL BETHEL

Indeed.


The point is, we decided we are many.

We also decided that we have Multiple Personality Disorder.


Ironically, agnostics and atheists are no longer a reality

*Insert mustache stroke here*