Crushing Butterflies

   Our climbing trip to Arkansas was also just the BEST. We left Bethel on Saturday evening, stayed the night at Eric's house in Independence, then drove the rest of the way Sunday morning. That way, we didn't have to waste an entire day driving, but also didn't have to drive all night and set up in the dark and cold (been there, done that, it's miserable). Eric's older brother Ryan came with us, as well as one of their McPherson friends, Mikael, whom I had not met before the trip. We had a good time on the way down listening to Broadway soundtracks in Eric's truck and admiring the fantastically beautiful Arkansas scenery. Right before we hit Horseshoe Canyon Ranch, we stopped off at Low Gap, which is either the name of a restaurant or the name of a town, I'm not sure. If it was a town, it consisted of the restaurant, as far as I could tell. Their buffet line was DELICIOUS. They had catfish and frog's legs, which I have never tried before. They are a little tougher and chewier than chicken, but otherwise quite good. And their pumpkin cheesecake was amazing. I had two slices. If you're ever in the Jasper, Arkansas area, you have got to stop there. It will be the best decision you make all day.

   After arriving at the Ranch (which is really like a high-falootin' dude ranch for clueless city folk, with some of Arkansas's best climbing routes thrown in on the side), we paid our dues for the next four days, rented shoes, and immediately hit the walls of the canyon for some warm-up routes. There were a lot of campers still hanging around, since it was Sunday afternoon, so we thought it would be best to let them all trickle on home while we climbed and then picked over their camping spots for the best location. Once it started getting darker and chillier, we decided it was time to pack up and head back to the campsites. As soon as we got there, we noticed a group with THE BEST spot in the whole camp – down on the side of the hill, sheltered by a bunch of trees, with a great fire pit. So we snagged it as soon as they left, and started setting up the tent. Eric discovered that of all the things he had so responsibly packed, the one thing he'd forgotten was the pump for the queen-sized air mattress. Some talk was made of using the truck exhaust to blow it up, but thankfully, better sense prevailed and no one died of carbon monoxide poisoning. As Eric used his tuba-playing skills to manually inflate the air bed (sounding like a dead-ringer for Darth Vadar), Mikael built a fire and we started on supper.

   The next day, we got up with the sun, had some packeted oatmeal, and headed out for our first big day of climbing. We went to the North Forty routes, a long chain of moderates that kept us occupied all day. I don't know how many we did exactly, but it must have been eight or ten. I learned how to lead climb and belay, leading a 5.8 route and top roping a 5.9+ with a difficult crux right at the top. The higher the number after the five, the more difficult the route. 5.6 is the easiest at the Ranch, and is like walking up a ladder. 5.13 is the hardest and is best left to people like Will Nagengast. The hardest part about the routes at the Ranch, at least initially, is that I was used to climbing bouldering routes at the gym, which are like 10-15 feet, not the 50-60 feet outside. More like a marathon than a sprint!

   On our second full day, we went to the Cliffs of Insanity and the Far East to climb a 5.9+ route called Orange Crush. Well, our book called it a 5.9+, but other people's books had upgraded it to a 5.10a, so we called it a 10a because it made us sound cooler. It was 80 feet, which is about twice as long as all of the other routes we'd climbed in the last two days. It was exhausting! Thankfully, the crux was in the middle, before we'd run out of all of our energy! The view from the top was absolutely amazing! We could see the entire canyon and at least a 270 degree panorama from the corner of the route. Very, very beautiful. 

After spending an hour or two wearing ourselves out on Orange Crush, we took a very long break and had some lunch, then got back to climbing some easier routes. I led one with a layback finish, which I'd never done before, and is kind of weird and awkward. My arms were really tired by the time I got to the last couple of bolts and I wanted to quit and just go back down, but Eric, who was belaying, wouldn't let me! So in the end, I had to finish it if I wanted to get back to the ground. It was annoying, but I'm glad he made me do it. We ended the day at Magoo Rock with a couple of easy, fun routes that involved a lot of swinging back and forth between two rock faces and a lot of bicep comparisons. 

 Supper was canned chili cooked in tin cans over the fire. Happily, we managed to scavenge a grate from another campside, so we didn't have to reach directly into the fire to place the cans, which was a nice change.

   Our third day was only a half day, since we had to drive back to Kansas in the afternoon. By the time we finished packing up the campsite, we only had time for a few routes before we had to leave, so while Eric and Ryan finished folding up the tent, Mikael and I went to Titanic boulder to practice leading. 

 A couple of groups were there already, and we had a good time talking to them. The climbers that we encountered were always SUPER friendly and willing to lend out advice or direction. It was really cool to get to know them a little bit. Some of them came from as far away as Minnesota! They said it was a 13 hour drive, which made us very happy that we only had eight. 

 We ended our time at Horseshoe Canyon Ranch with a 5.10b that only Eric could do. It had about a 6' roof at the very end that involved planting one's feet on the wall and stretching out horizontally to reach up and over the ledge to secure the final bolt. By far the most difficult route any of us had attempted all week.

   On the way home, we blatantly defied the government shutdown in order to drive through a gorgeous state park. The ranger, who was tootling around in a golf cart just waved at us. I don't think he cared that we were there. The weather was incredibly nice, so we drove through the winding roads with the windows down, blasting “The Lion King” and “Children of Eden” and receiving some strange looks at intersections. After switching vehicles at Eric's and wolfing down some leftover chili, Ryan and Mikael and I drove the rest of the way to Newton, arriving back around 8:45.

   My last two days in Newton were spent sleeping in, stopping by Bethel for chance encounters with friends, eating at Mojo's, having tea and taking walks with Jacob and Martin, having supper with Gary and Carla, having supper with Zach, watching Glee with Ryan and Brian and Eric, getting cheese fries at Newell's with Evan, Brian, and Eric, and listening to Eric complain about how poor my computer's performance was as he tried to fix it.

   This was truly the best vacation. Thank you all for reading, and thank you all for making my trip to Kansas truly memorable. I love you all.